Reading in Bed With My Wife

When you've been married as long as my wife and I, reading in bed can be a problem.

Take, for example, the invitation. Let's say I suggest to my wife at midnight that we go to bed and read. She will likely tell me she has a headache. This is typical of our reading life, but we frequently fall into bed together anyway and share the Q volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica or perhaps we read the "Y" section of the Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. Naturally we wear each other out and fall to sleep immediately.

There are times, however, when my wife thinks that reading in bed is a great option for us. Sometimes she brings along a highlighter and an instructional manual. She underlines pertinent passages and shows them to me, often making suggestive comments that she hopes will provoke me to wash the various beakers and test tubes soaking downstairs in the kitchen sink. I point out that I am not a science teacher . . . just a lover of books . . . and that if we're going to read in bed together, we should be quiet and not make commentary or express desires.

There are also times when my wife and I wait for the other to make the first move. Sometimes she wants to read in bed, sometimes I do. But I like it when she asks. That's why I always keep a stack of books in the nightstand next to the bed. I want to be ready when she is. But then, I'm a man and I like aggressive novels like War and Peace.

Naturally, there are also times when our reading cycles don't sink up. My wife wants to study textbooks while I prefer light verse or something playful like Where the Sidewalk Ends. Here we have to compromise, or we agree to disagree, and we usually end up just going through the motions of reading, with neither of us absorbing very much. It's frustrating. Reading should be exciting and adventuresome, we agree on this, but there are times when we have to talk about our patterns. We need to trade books sometimes, and both of us agree we need read a lot more history and sociology. Sometimes we will even buy a book together and share it. We take turns flipping the pages. It's remarkable when this happens and we recommend it to any couple who has grown stale in their reading habits.

Finally, we agree that we can never read in bed too often. There is so much to learn. We each have our interests and our favorite genres. I like to read sitting up, and I prefer fiction, where anything goes. My wife, on the other hand, craves manuals and workbooks. She likes to underline and make notations in the margins. Sometimes, when she's not looking, I read her thoughts.

I'm not sure what tonight will bring, but I've got three new books ready on the nightstand. My wife tells me she is bringing something new home herself and that we will meet in the middle. She wants my advice on a paper she is writing.

I can't wait.