Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Bookmarks


Book marks are an enigma. I have collected hundreds of them over the years, but I never have one when I need it. Even though I have book marks of every style and persuasion I usually end up using a piece of scrap paper or a rubber band to mark my page. It's frustrating. My book marks are usually stashed behind shelves or inside shelved books and I am almost always forced to create my own mark with whatever I can find at hand.

Some of my most cherished book marks include: a mark my grandmother crocheted for me before her death; a sterling silver mark with my inscribed initials in gold overlay; a few book marks that editors have sent to me in appreciation of my writing; a book mark from Guatemala that Tom Heaton gave me last year. I possess all of these book marks, but I have no idea where any of them are as I write this. Lost? Hardly. They are nearby. I just can't find them.

Some of my more ingenious book marks include: placing a thinner book inside a thicker book; a DVD or CD; dental floss; toenail clippings. The toenail clippings are classic (I'm not sure they were even mine . . . I found the pile on the top of the bathtub). I was getting ready to take a shower and didn't have a book mark on hand. The clippings marked my place nicely and I later told my wife I cleaned the bathroom. I wasn't lying.

I hear some people actually read a book without a book mark. They "dog ear" their page. Not in my house . . . . This is one of my pet peeves. If I see my daughter or son dog-earing a page, I send them to bed without supper and I withhold parental love for months. They are not allowed to visit my library until they write a five page apology and sign a contract that they will not dog-ear another page in a book under penalty of death.

And I don't want to tell you what I would do to my wife if she dog-eared one of my books. But that's another page.

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