Another CD

Last week I received copies of my latest CD, The Christmas Collection, which includes several Christmas memoirs. And, should anyone want a copy ($10), I'm giving 100% of the proceeds, royalties . . . the whole shebang, to mission. Always have.

Get 'em while they're hot.

Of course, Christmas is still four weeks distant, but it doesn't hurt to begin some gratuitous panhandling now, even before we've stuffed ourselves with turkey. So, here's my pitch. And here's what other people are saying about The Christmas Collection, by Todd Outcalt.

I was really down in the dumps. And then I listened to Mr. Alleycat's hilarious CD. I decided to purchase my husband, Herb, a Christmas gift this year (deodorant bar). Thanks, Todd.

(Mrs. E.W. Shwartz, Chutzpa, NY)

Never heard anything like it. Mr. Outcalt's sonorous voice lulled me to sleep, and I've been suffering from insomnia for the better part of forty years since I work nights as a pole dancer. In fact, I can't even think of going to bed without his voice at my side!

(Honey Money, Chicago, IL)

There are millions of people who need to listen to this CD! I was one of them. I was ready to give up on Christmas this year and convert to Buddhism, but I reached Nirvana by listening to this CD and decided I'd give the gospel of Luke another try. This CD is the real Christmas miracle!

(Bob, from Toled0)

Once in a lifetime a CD comes along that can rock your world, man! Mine got smashed. Like, totally blitzed. Incredible, dude. Buy this sucka!

(Razor, drummer for the band Hot Nuggets 'n Fries)

Why did you put me on another one of your CDs, Todd? It's embarrassing. Can you tape over the top of that one track?

(Todd's mom)