Talk to Me

It's weird, but I must be on someone's "list."  I'm still getting calls and emails from radio talk show hosts, bloggers, and web site hosts.  These folks must have gone through their A-list of personalities, and now they are scraping the bottom of the barrel with their D-list . . . and want to talk to me.  Of course, no one's holding a gun to my head.  I don't have to talk.  But I try to be accommodating.  Most of them are holding a BB gun.  Okay, I'll talk.

But I could save a few of these producers some time and offer the answers to some questions right here and now.  So, let's get a few things straight.

Tell me . . . why do you do what you do?
Well, it's something to do.  I'd rather be doing something than nothing.  Know what I mean?  I find that when I'm doing what I do, I'm tired at the end of the day and can sleep with a clear conscience.  What else is there to do?

So . . . you like doing it?
You'll have to ask my wife that question.  I like doing it.  I won't speak for her.  We do different things.  She likes what she does.  I like what I do.  Okay, yeah . . . she loves it.  There, I said it.  She likes her job.

What would you do if you could do anything?
Hey, no one can do anything, bub!  This isn't America!  Well . . . actually it is.  But still, I'd just keep doing what I'm doing.  I'd do it more if I had the time.  Time is a factor in what I do.  There's always more to do.  That's why I do it.

Is it our imagination, or are you circumventing the questions like a politician?
No, I'm a straight-shooter.  I can tell my wife anything.  But she doesn't want to hear any of it, so I don't tell her much.  This is part of what I do. We talked about that earlier.  Or have you forgotten?

Anything else you'd like to share while we've got you on the air?
We're on the air?  *%!*%$***, I didn't realize!  You mean there could be people listening to this?  Who are they?  I thought I was ordering a pizza.  That's also something I do.  You know?