If You Take My Advice

Two weeks ago I was a guest on the new Rachel Russo show (WeddingPodcastNetwork.com--the press "podcasts" at top for link to interview) and discussed themes and topics that engaged couples should talk about before they get married.  I don't think I mentioned on the show that I've been giving this same advice to my engaged daughter of late.  I hope my daughter will listen to her Dad.

One bride told me recently:  "I always cry at weddings."

That's understandable.  What woman wouldn't cry when she thinks about the man she's marrying?  My wife probably weeps every day in secret.  And next week, when I remind my wife that we've been married for twenty-seven years and that she could have married Harvey Wiggins, who turned out to be one hell of a plumber, she will be inconsolable.

But she's stuck with me now.  Divorce is not an option.  I have a plaque with this slogan that hangs over our bed.  We don't have mirrors on the ceiling, just slogans.

My daughter, on the other hand, can still be influenced.  I'm trying to give her marital advice.  She's read my books, my columns, my articles.  I've asked her to download the podcast.  But the thought of her mother and I loving each other after all of these years makes her gag.  After all, it's tough receiving advice from a man who walks around the house in a breezy pair of ten-year-old underwear (boxers) and occasionally kisses his wife on the lips and calls her "honey".  I can clear a room.  We haven't seen our son in years.  He's embarrassed.  And after he finishes his senior year of high school he is adamant that he's moving to a frat house so he won't have to witness my bumbling attempts at romance. He's seen too much.  He needs to move to a college campus so he can reclaim his innocence.

My daughter, on the other hand, needs advice from a person she can respect. That's why I'm sending her and her fiance to a counselor I can trust . . . a Harvard grad with many degrees hanging on his office wall and a bevy of signed photographs of Lady Gaga and Cat Stevens.  I'll just be here for her, helping her plan her wedding on a budget of $199.99.  I've already found the burlap for her dress.  I'll be providing the music, solo.  I'm cooking the wedding wieners on a Weber grill.  I will also take the photos. I will preside over the ceremony pro bono.

Marriage is tough enough without entering into it "unadvisedly" . . . as the old wedding ceremony used to subscribe.  But advice is cheap.

Or, at least mine is.  And what do Dads know?  

PS--Thanks, Rachel, for having me on the show, and I wish you all the best!