Manopause

Last week I brought Gail Sheehy's book, Menopause: The Silent Passage, home to my wife.  I also took the liberty of reading the book before she did.  "Did you learn anything?" she wanted to know.

"More than I bargained for," I said. 

Naturally, many people may want to know why a young, virile guy like me would be reading a book about an old woman's passage, but Gail Sheehy herself answers this question in the book.  She writes:  "Most women are frustrated because the men they love are not informed about menopause.  Most women, if they are honest, admit that they wish their men were more supportive and informed about the silent passage."

Hence, the reason I read this book.  As I told Becky:  "I'm breaking the silence on your passage!  I'm all about support and understanding, sugar.  I'm knowledgeable, informed, and empathetic to the ways of women and what you must endure.  And, by the way, when are you gonna get off your duff and cook dinner?"

Gail Sheehy understands.  She gets me.  After all, I'm going through manopause . . . that male stage of life when a guy has to act his age, when he begins to sag in all the same places his wife is sagging (and more) and when a man looks into the mirror and sees the end of days and realizes that his life has been built on nothing but Snickers bars and a few leftover pieces of drywall he purchased on sale at Lowe's.  Manopause is that stage of life when a guy can smile and tell his wife, "I understand what you are feeling, honey, and I'm right there with you.  And by the way, can I turn up the thermostat just a smidge?"

Gail Sheehy writes an informative book.  I recommend it to all my old man friends.  This one is a classic.  Once a man reads about menopause, he's set free.  He understands that his life will now become a series of reservations at restaurants and weekly trips to the pharmacy to pick up Ben-Gay and various lubricants.  He mows the yard more frequently and takes cold showers.  He begins to study photographs of his great-grandfather in order to ascertain how bald he will become and how sedentary his life will be once he has 24-hour access to Netflicks.

That's the very heart of manopause.

He understands his woman.  But she just doesn't get him at all.