In the past month, I've received a surprising number of cards, letters, emails, and blog postings from "fans" who say they are enjoying one of my books, or have read one of my essays in a magazine, etc. I've even had two fans in Brazil, who wrote telling me how much they are enjoying the Portuguese edition of The Best Things in Life Are Free (which no one reads in English).
Of course, I don't let all of this attention go to my head . . . even though I have noted that an increasing number of writers now have "fan clubs" that are designed to accommodate the ever-increasing desire for daily Twitters and intimate details of the writer's life. I'm not sure who organizes these fan clubs, but I thought I'd at least provide some updated information for all of my fans overseas. And, since I don't Twitter, perhaps I can answer a few intimate questions for my loyal reader-base.
Q: So . . . whaz-up?
A: Lots of new happenings, dingo. Already this morning I've made a pot of coffee, shoveled snow off my front steps, and used the bathroom twice. I stopped by Jiffy-Lube and had my wife's car serviced (I'm just a great husband that way). And, since my wife is home today (no school, snow day) perhaps I'll service her later.
Q: Do you take any pills?
A: Lots of 'em. Doctors orders. I take a whopper Flaxseed oil pill every day to inject some "good cholesterol" into my body, and when my torn rotator cuff acts up, I crush some Advil tablets into powder, make lines on the coffee table, and snort 'em. Other than that, I'm as healthy as a Billy Goat.
Q: How do you balance being a pastor and a writer?
A: Well, as a child I could ride a unicycle down the handrail of our staircase. That's how I learned balance. I also chewed gum and read the Bible at the same time. I only fell one time--on top of my brother--and he said, "You're always throwing the Bible in my face." I can no longer ride a unicycle, but I do carry the Bible on top of my head a couple of hours each day to keep a proper balance in my life.
Q: Are you for real?
A: Well, I do have occasional lapses where I become animated and take on the appearance of Spongebob Squarepants, but usually I'm me.
Q: Is there a possibility that I could meet you some time to get your autograph?
A: No possibility.
Q: If I sent you copy of your book and enclosed return postage, would you autograph a book?
A: Yes, but I would use the name, "Bartholomew Eggcreme" since I like it much better than my own.
Q: When might you start Twittering?
A: Difficult to say. I'm still operating at home with an old rotary phone and my family is on a three-party line. I do have a cell phone, too, but I can only dial in numbers of those who have first called me. It's embarrassing for me to ask my son for help and, actually, it takes me nearly sixteen hours just to write one blog posting like this . . . so you can understand my dilemma. Twitter? Geez-louise . . . I just don't know.
Q: What can you tell us about your personal life, then?
A: Is this not personal enough?
A: Is this not personal enough?
1 comment:
I am LOL!!!!!
Post a Comment