This blog entry is for men . . . particularly guys who might be considering writing a love letter to their wives. Do it! You see, women think that men are, generally speaking, emotional and intellectual gnats. They don't think we have the capacity to truly express how we feel, especially when it comes to love. But, hey, let's not forget Shakespeare, Woodsworth, and Auden. These guys could write love with the best of 'em. And so can you!
Now, here's how you do it. When you set out to write a love letter to your wife, don't use phrases like: "I really love you, honey." Any moron can write this. You can find this expression in a Hallmark card. But if that's the best you got, then go ahead and shell out your $5.95 and feed the coffers of Hallmark. But you can do better.
Before I set sail, I worked for six weeks on my ten page love letter. Key word here: "worked"! Yes, writing is work. And when it comes to writing a love letter, you'd better give your best, brother, or you're in deep do-do!
That's why I leaned heavily on my thesaurus. Instead of using trite and overused words like "love", "honey", and "sex", I found far more expressive options, like "passionate", "beautiful", and "hootchie-cootchie". My wife really appreciated my effort, and as I doled out another portion of my ten pages each day at sea, I could tell that she was moved.
Now, what are you going to do about your love, brother? Are you gonna tell your sweet momma how you really feel about her, or are you gonna let another day go by watching reruns of Two and a Half Men?
Better get crackin' at the old typewriter. Maybe insert some clip art. And if you can draw what you are feeling, better make an illustration. Women like that sort of thing.
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