The Insult

When I was a kid, there was a frequent full-page, color ad which appeared in the back of most comic books entitled, "The Insult That Made a Man Out of Mac." This ad told the story of a skinny geek who visited the beach with his girl friend, had sand kicked in his face, and then, after taking Charles Atlas's crash bodybuilding course, returned to beat up the bullies.

This ad never did much for me as a kid . . . I never had any girls who liked me anyway (and when a girl did like me, she was the one who usually kicked sand in my face, not the bullies). But back then, the implications of working out in the gym were much more geared toward the idea of self-preservation and protection of the women-folk. Now, it's all about health . . . and fitness

Nearly ten years ago, as I was approaching my fortieth birthday, I began having conversations with Becky about my long years in the gym. I weighed 240 pounds, was VERY STRONG, but had always maintained that I could get in tip-top shape in four months and compete in a competition. Becky said prove it. So I did. Four months later, soon after my fortieth birthday, I weighed in at 200 pounds and was in the best condition of my life.

Following, I wrote several articles for various health and fitness magazines about men's conditioning in midlife, how to exercise, and how to get a six pack of abdominals while eating Krispy Kreme donuts and flat bread pizzas. Anyway, I had fun writing it all.

Now, as I approach fifty, things are a bit tougher. I have two bad knees, I'm not nearly as strong as I used to be, and I've been training for six months with a torn rotator cuff in one shoulder. My hope is that I can once again get into top condition when I turn fifty (though I'll never step onto a stage in front of five hundred people in a G-string again). This time, I'll be doing it for my son, not my wife. I think my son needs some inspiration from old dad. He needs to understand that goals are important, and that reaching for a goal can often be painful and difficult. But nothing in life worth achieving comes easily. He doesn't think I can get in top condition at age fifty. He said, "Prove it." And I will. For him.

By January 2011 I hope to write some articles for health and fitness magazines about exercises and health and diet for the over 50 crowd. I'll have my AARP card by then, will be eligible for senior citizens' discounts, and hope to save a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO. It's so easy, even a fifty-year old can do it!