Quoting Me?

Recently I've discovered portions of my writing showing up in other books. Odd really, these quotes. Who would want to quote anything I've written? I can't recall a single thing I've ever said.

I told Becky about this a few nights ago. "Some guy quoted me in his book on marriage," I told her. "He lifted a few lines out of Before You Say "I Do" and thought they were profound."

"Profound? You? Like what?"

"You know . . . uh, stuff about the importance of a wife making love to her man three times a day (especially as he gets older), cooking great chili, putting oil additives into the station wagon. Stuff like that."

"You're making this up!"

"No. No. I wrote that!"

"Nobody writes that. It's ridiculous."

"Even the making love three times a day thing?"

"We don't see each other that often. We don't even see each other three times a month! Heck, make that a year."

"But it's a great theory. And I've got other quotes, too!"

"Like what?"

"Hey, kids! Don't make me get off this couch! . . . that was one of mine. Or: Like your donut, lady? Or: Why would anyone want to get married? . . . that was one of mine, too."

"You're not quotable," Becky said. "In fact, you're barely usable."

Okay, she had me there. But still . . . she didn't have to say it like that!