Movin' On Up

Driving back from Muncie on Friday, I passed a giant billboard advertising an up-and-coming moving company called TWO MEN AND A TRUCK. The idea is simple, when people need to move, they usually think that two men and a truck can take care of them.

But I got to thinking about that and decided that 1) If The Wittenburg Door would publish my satire and 2) If I could create a moving company to meet any need . . . I'd advertise the following slate of Moving Company Options*:

For Campus Moves:
Two Students and a Backpack

For Slumlords:
Two Social Workers and a Wheelbarrow

Domestic:
One Husband, One Wife, and an Argument ("You told me you were getting the truck . . . AND you're two hours late!")

Alternative Lifestyles:
Two Gays and a Lavender Station Wagon OR
Two Lesbians and a Harley Davidson

Wealthy:
One Old Broad, a Prenup, and a Cadillac

Nursing Homes:
One Old Man, A Nurse, and a Walker with a Basket

Church:
Two Pastors and a Fifteen Passenger Youth Van

MegaChurch:
One Faith Healer, An Usher, and a Wheelchair

International:
Two Russians and a Rickshaw

Restaurant:
Two Pastry Chefs and a Four Wheel Dessert Cart

*Moving Company Policy: We are an equal-opportunity offender and do apologize in advance for any prejudicial indications found herein. Please visit our web site: www.twogeeksandamotherboard.com if you wish to voice your concerns.