Last week I was in a Barnes & Noble bookstore and noted the proliferation of "How-to" titles that have seemed to proliferate like fleas. There are books that can show a person "how to" make a deck, "how to" produce fuel oil from leftover salad dressing, or "how to" take the SAT test.
I wonder: are we really so helpless that we don't know "how to" do some of these things? I mean, if you look closely, there are actually instructions on how to fix a Pop-tart (the instructions are on the box). Are there people who actually need a manual for Pop-tarting? Heck, I've ruined entire meals without any instructions at all!
Still, I've been thinking: Do I have any books inside of me that could assist some of these helpless Americans who need instruction so badly? I think I do. Here are a few of the titles I've come up with. I'm glad to help and show you "how to".
How to Clean a Navel: Ten Easy Steps to a Better You Before You Nap.
How to Start an Andy Griffith Show Rerun-Watchers Club in Your Garage . . . and Twenty-five Recipies Aunt Bee Used to Make
How to Choose a College for Your Child: The Ultimate Parents' Guide For Talking Your Daughter Out of the Ivy League and Into an Affordable Four-Year degree at a State University Nearby and How to Pay For It Over the Next Decade
How to Understand a High School Freshman: What Makes 'Em Tick, What Ticks 'Em Off, and What To Do With the Ticks After You Remove 'Em from the Scalp
How to Please an Older Woman: The Ageing Man's Guide to Interpreting Female Overtures, Innuendos, and Subtle Body Language
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