Dude!

One of my son's friends made the following comment last week when he was looking at my library at the house: "Dude!" Reading into this expression, I realized that he was trying to say: "Dude...that's a lot of books" or "Holy Mother of All That is Good you've been reading too much" or "How many books do you have, anyway?"

Funny how one "Dude!" can provoke me to begin counting. So I did.

Really, I had no idea. But after tallying the shelves at home and at the church, I've got some 5000 titles strewn across the shelves. What's even sicker is that I know I've given at least half of my library away over the years (when I've moved, or when I've wanted to clean shelf space for other newer volumes). I have no idea when or how I've read all of these (but a goodly number were in college and grad school--English major!--when I was forced to read three Shakespeare plays a week and soaked up books like a street bum soaks up beer).

I'm now running out of space again, so it's time to clean house. Maybe I can take a couple thousand titles to Half Price books and get $26.95 in pocket change. Or I could just give them away. Or--hey, here's a novel thought--why don't I donate them to the Todd Outcalt memorial library. That way, some of my secrets would be preserved for all time.

Secrets like...my recipe for grilled ham. Or my secret for making it look like I've made the bed when I really haven't. Or how to belch for twenty seconds. Somewhere, it's all there . . . hidden in the pages.

Dude!