Sunday, October 23, 2011

Analzye This

In a few days I will be proctoring a psychology test for a friend who is hoping to be ordained.  I couldn't help but peek at the packet today, wondering how I would fare if I were taking this test.  Naturally, my wife wants to know if my lug nuts are screwed on tight and I wanted to put her at ease as Halloween approaches and I begin dressing more frequently in drag.

So . . . I took a portion of the test.  Here are my results and the accompanying analysis.  

Tell us what you see in the following ink blots.


Answer:  I see a woman, of course.  A real beauty, who looks like a ballerina. Could be my wife, though I've never seen Becky in a tutu.  Or it could be a man in drag dressed for Halloween.  He's got Almond Joys in his candy bag.


Answer:  I see a beautiful flower here.  Could be a rose petal, or perhaps a cluster of black-eyed susans, which look like daisies, but the fragrance is entirely different.  I only see beautiful things around me.  This is not an ugly ink blot.  Whoever made this blot was an artist.  I really believe this.  You should believe me.  I'm not kidding.

Write your thoughts to the following words.  Don't think, just write the first thing that comes to your mind.


Sex            Wife
Wife           Sex
Self            Deprived
Water         Aphrodisiac
Ink Blot      (I can't write these thoughts in public)
Donut         Yuuummmm
Donut Hole  (no comment)
Money         Money
Book           Book
Love           Wife

Analysis:  This weirdo exhibits an uncanny knack at masking his psychoses, which are, by the way, legion.  As we take a closer look at his answers we are amazed that he can hold a job, drive a car, or operate heavy machinery. We are further amazed that he is not now, nor has he ever, taken medications of any type.  Sure, he looks okay, but what can appearance really tell us?  We recommend that this man stay indoors as much as possible and continue blogging.

PS...those who read his blog obviously have problems of their own.

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