Thanks, Mom!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a column for my mother. But since my mother doesn't read what I write (who does?) I guess I'll thank her here for helping me with the following:

For all of those diaper changes . . . thanks, I really appreciate it. I'm so much more comfortable and dry now.

For being my kindergarten teacher . . . thanks, my education really took off the following year.

For buying me books when I was young and telling me, "You can write that well" . . . thanks, I guess you were right.

For reminding me to return library books . . . thanks, I'm not a felon because of you.

For asking, "Are you writing anything new?" . . . thanks for asking anyway.

For coming to my book signings in the area and buying my books . . . thanks, you were my only customer.

For telling others about my books . . . thanks, you've doubled my sales by talking dad into buying a copy, too.

For making me power-of-attorney over your vast bank holdings and real estate investments . . . thanks, I'll do my best to get you a 5% return.

For being mom then, and now . . . thanks, you didn't mess me up too badly.