Over the past month, I've visited quite a number of bookstores--just dropped in really--in search of myself. These visits have been akin to drive-by conversations, and if bookstores had drive-up windows, I would have used them.
I've been curious to know if my publisher (Your Beautiful Wedding on Any Budget) has been able to secure contracts from booksellers, who, consequently, have placed my title into bookstores like Barnes & Noble, Borders, Doubleday, etc. And I've discovered mixed results.
Usually, my visits go like this. I walk into a bookstore, I make eye contact with a friendly-looking helper or, hopefully, a manager and I say, "Hey, I'm just curious. Do you have a book in stock written by a deadbeat named Todd Alleycat?"
They always ask me to spell the last name. I pretend to struggle with it. They punch my name in the computer and in a few seconds the verdict is in. "Yeah," they might say, "we got a couple of copies. You wanna buy 'em?" OR "Sorry, never heard of the loser. You sure you spelled that name correctly? That's a stumper."
If they do have the book in stock, I say, "Thanks. I may come back and read it in my spare time. But I sure as heck ain't payin' for it!"
And then I pad back into the stacks, locate my two copies, and place it on the Oprah Book Club Table and sign 'em: "What a wonderful book you've written Mr. Alleycat! Changed my life! Love, Oprah"
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