John Wesley's Hair

I often write humorous verse (usually to make my wife laugh).  But this week I thought I would try my hand at a few Methodist themes.  Our history has too much humor to overlook.  And you can admit it.  Come on!  You've had these thoughts about John Wesley, too!







John Wesley's Hair

In John Wesley’s day
The methodical way
Created a movement of prayer
But even back then
No one had the skin
To comment on John Wesley’s hair.

Sometimes in his haste
He would smear it with paste
Or would powder it ‘till it would glare
Of a soft snowy white
Which would toss back the light
Of Jesus revealed his hair.


Though some folks in private
Believed that he dyed it
Most others refused to declare
If what Wesley used
Was a mouse or an ooze
But they all lied about Wesley’s hair.

And yes, once or twice
Wesley surely had lice
But hygeine was certainly rare
In those days when a Brit
Would not throw a fit
At the sight of John Wesley's hair.

Of course as time passed
Wesley died at the last
And people revered him, I swear,
Not because of his way
Or the depths he could pray
But because he had odd-looking hair.


And today (it’s a fact)
That nobody with tact
Would accept a pastor with flair,
Not even if he
Combed his hair like a she
Or if she had John Wesley’s hair.