They're arriving. They're here. Cards, letters, voice mail, emails. Fan mail?
Today I received six or seven.
The most interesting seemed to be a voice mail from a woman in Africa (or perhaps a fortune cookie factory in China). No, I'm not making this up! Her message was something like, "Hello, Mr. Alleycat, I familiar with you book Ultimate Christian Living and I wish to discuss great and glorious opportunity to share your book with thousands. If only I reach you, then you give me credit card number to set in motion fantastic opportunity to sell books. Yes, and I try to reach you later with golden chance to create rainbow vision of wonderful success. May God bless you with success until I reach you later with golden opportunity to give me credit card number to set wheels in motion. Amen."
So glad I have caller ID. My phone has been ringing off the hook today and most of the calls have been coming in from "very strange golden prefix with Mickey Mouse number like 555".
I'm also being very careful when I open my mail. I'm particularly wary of odd shaped envelopes with anthrax-like powders lurking inside. "Yes, golden opportunity to die horrendous rainbow death in excruciating hellish pain."
And as for emails, I'm not opening any of the ones that read:
"Beautiful maidens help you sell books with golden opportunity to do even more!" or
"Rainbow drugs give your book golden success and enlarge your library."
Yes, I'm getting these . . . and I'm a writer who has had no success at all in the publishing department. The only golden success my books have enjoyed is the rainbow experience of draining my bank account. And this without giving a credit card number to anyone!
I can't imagine the emails, voice mails and mail that Sandra Bullock receives on a daily basis . . . and I'm the one who's sending them to her!
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