Friday Interviews & Other Frolics

I've been trying to stave off the inevitable for some time, but the requests have finally caught up with me: requests for interviews, requests for speaking-engagements, requests for book signings and appearances. Over the past few weeks I've funneled all of these requests to Friday, March 20, when I promised to answer the mound of requests that have gathered on my plate. And now that day has arrived.

So far this morning I have talked to two editors, ordered a few books for book signings that I will do later this spring/summer, written a personal vitae that can be used in introductions, and have kindly requested that all of my face-to-face interviews or phone interviews be conducted via email instead. I will spend time this afternoon doing some of these interviews on computer, thank God!

One of the interviews, by a syndicated columnist based in Chicago, is couched around questions about marriage and pre-marital counseling. (I guess that's what I get for writing books for brides.) I hate to tell the truth in this situation, but I may have to.

Truth is, I know very little about marriage. I only know that my wife is a jewel because she endures my late nights and my silly little poems at her expense. I do wash the dishes on Friday, so I know a little about sharing responsibilities. Sometimes I clean the toilets and mop the floors (really!) And, okay, sure, I can talk about making love and staying in love and being in love and all that jazz just in case there are readers out there who have to have their jollies . . . but by and large, I'm learning as I go. I'll have my 25th wedding anniversary this summer and I can talk about what that means (a cruise, probably . . . and you know what happens on cruises!)

But I just want to write. I don't like interviews, and I don't like speaking engagements, and I don't like photo ops and I don't like book signings.

And as my wife often asks: "If you don't like that stuff, then why do you write books?"

Answer: "So I can wear a suit and tie and look professional and come home to your sweet lovin' arms!"

These interviews aren't going to go well. I can feel it.