Sunday, September 14, 2008

Writing Weddings

A few weeks ago I received an invitation from an editor to write about some of my most memorable weddings (for an anthology about weddings). Naturally, I can't resist this. I could write about:

* My quickie wedding I performed in a birthing room at the hospital, where the bride had her feet in the stirrups and the delivery doc took a break so I could ask "Will you take this dude as your husband?"

* My "Texas Wedding", where the bride had fourteen bridesmaids and groomsmen (total of 28!)wearing cowboy boots, hats, and vests, and where the groom sang, "Will you love me when I'm old and ugly?" (I also got stiffed on the honorarium and ended up doing the wedding pro bono despite the fact that it was largest wedding I'd ever presided over!)

* My wedding held outside at the groom's swimming pool in hundred degree heat. The bride fainted dead away twice and ended up taking her vows lying on the bed in the house with a cold towel pressed to her forehead.

* My wedding where one of the bridesmaids vomited as she was walking up the aisle.

Yes, these and many more I could write about. And as I always say, "I can't make this stuff up." Truth really is stranger than fiction, and when it comes to weddings, there are few things that gravitate toward the odd, the peculiar, and the downright laughable.

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