Danger! Danger!

This past summer I purchased a book that I thought my fourteen-year-old son and I could read together. It's a best-seller: The Dangerous Book For Boys--written by two British brothers. But, alas, since my son can't read, and he doesn't like danger, I ended up reading it by myself. It's a book that reveals all of the boyhood secrets I wanted to know about when I was his age: how to make stink bombs, how to build a tree house, how to do a set of good magic tricks, how to juggle, amazing baseball facts.

But I was most interested in the practical jokes. That was my youthful passion, and I was good at them. Especially at school. Which leads me to sharing the following secrets which worked very well for me.

1. Put a tape recorder in a school locker with periodic sound bites of someone yelling, "Let me out of here!!!" Gets the teachers every time.
2. Before the teacher gets into the classroom, place the chalk (or dry erase markers) and erasers on top of the intercom. I was the only white boy in my high school who could jump that high (and, come to think of it, the only boy who wasn't drunk or high when he got to school) and my classmates egged me on. I liked doing this stunt for the cheerleaders (and it's how I won over Becky's heart, too). She still likes to see me jump.
3. Spray paint the principal's name all over . . . (no, wait, that one got me expelled! Don't do this, boys!)
3 1/2. Take all the toilet paper out of the bathroom stalls and put it in the school trophy case in the shape of an Egyptian pyramid. (I got an "A" in social studies for this project.)

I'm always glad to share my secrets with the younger generation and hope these dangerous secrets dont' get into the wrong hands. Keep reading and have fun!