Some years ago I wrote a regular column for a national bridal magazine. It was probably the best pay I ever received for my writing (at least on a $ per word basis), and the focus of the column was to prepare grooms for marriage.
That's a tall order, of course--getting guys fired up to spend a lifetime with one woman. It was fun writing the column, but eventually I ran out of ideas. I mean, how many ways could I write about how to have a successful marriage? So, in the spirit of trying to recapture the highlights of those columns, here is my nifty list of things a man can do to keep a marriage alive. They've worked for me...I hope they will work for men everywhere.
1. Tell your wife you love her every day. But don't just say it...clean something! Women know you love them if you clean stuff around the house. Don't know why, but it's a feminine fetish.
2. Stay away from her side of the closet...give her space. Women don't like it when we rearrange the closet to make room for another shirt and tie.
3. Buy a hammer and wrench. You don't have to know how to use them...but if you can bang on things around the house from time to time and look busy, they'll think you care. When she's not around, call the plumber. Pay in cash. She can't trace it.
If tested these theories, by the way, on thousands of men. They work. Have a great marriage, guys!
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