Thursday, January 30, 2014

Noodle Up

(Photo:  The author's favorite flavor, big as life.)

Lately I've been living on Ramen Noodles.  I eat 'em most days.  These packages, purchased in bulk, are about ten cents a meal.  But I love 'em.

My wife doesn't understand my infatuation with the noodle.  She always wants some fancy box of Hamburger Helper or a dollar-fitty can of soup, and she always makes the same two comments when she sees me slurping up my slop:  "How can you stand to eat those things?" and "Could we at least go to Taco Bell?"

Actually, Ramen noodles have been feeding writers for years.  After all, I don't have time to cook.  Not with all my deadlines.  I've got to have a meal I can unpack, drop into a small pot of boilin' water, and then eat on the go or at midnight.  Ramen Noodles are perfect.  And they come in six or seven scrumptious flavors, too.  I wish my family would live on these things.

The way I've calculated it, if all five of us (yes, there are five adults in my house!) ate Ramen Noodles three times a day (that's fifteen meals) . . . I could feed the lot for $1.50 a day, or, get this, feed a family for just pennies over $10 a week.

I don't understand why others in the house can't get with this program.  I don't need peanut butter and jelly, or Mrs. Calendar's apple pie, or a quart of Chunky Monkey ice cream.  (Though, I must admit, I do consume five pounds of protein powder a week, and that's running me $15.)  Throw in some well water and a pot or two of coffee a day (another "splurge") and I'm doin' fine.  In fact, I know I could live on less than $30 a week when I'm writing full bore and don't have time to think about food or sleep. 

One of these days I'm going to buy an entire pallet of Ramen Noodles.  I'll just tell the semi driver to drop off a load and I'll store the lot in my garage.  That's another thing about Ramens . . . they never go bad.  They can sit for a century in a dark, dank basement but taste fresh as a daisy after they've been boiled in water and seasoned with the contents from that tiny little foil packet.  I'm sure the Egyptians ate them to build the pyramids.

The Pharaohs, I've heard, were also incredibly frugal.


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