Thursday, February 21, 2013

My Status Update

I note that people are often changing their "status".  This is, of course, just another way of saying:  My life was boring yesterday, but I've made some significant changes, and today my life is fresh and exciting . . . I can hardly wait to get at it.

Toward that end, I want all of my friends to know that I've updated my status.  I'm sure no one wants to be left out of the loop, so I'm sending my new updated status to everyone . . . family, friends, neighbors, and to Myron--the guy who washed my windshield on the corner of Massachusetts and Alabama and asked, "How are you doing?"

Please be aware, however, that my status may change again tomorrow.  I'm just funny that way.  I never want to sit pat on my old status.  I like to keep things fresh and exciting.  But at this moment in time, here's my new status:

Todd is still married to Becky (although she has hinted recently that she is growing dissatisfied with his cooking, as his recipes lean heavily upon post-expiration-date cottage cheese and brown bananas).  Todd recently visited his son at Vincennes University and gave him two cans of Lima beans and a package of beef jerky.  In addition to these changes, Todd most recently:
* Ate a package of black licorice
* Realized he should not have eaten an entire package of black licorice
* Bought more black licorice
* Purchased a box of Musinex
* Told an editor he had cramps and couldn't write for 24 hours
* Gave his wife roses and poems for Valentine's Day (and felt this was more than adequate)
* Purchased a box of used books
* Shaved
* Updated his status

Thank you for noting these updates.  I hope some of them will last more than 24-hours.  My wife has remained commited since my last status update, and I still have a can of Lima beans from 1979, but beyond that . . . .

Look for new updates tomorrow.  I anticipate that I will be:
* Not dying of scurvy in the night
* Getting out of bed
* Completing a workout at the gym while the rest of America sleeps
* Writing an article about beautiful women (and the ugly men who love them)
* Shaving

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