Thursday, June 7, 2012

Susanna Wesley Goes to Annual Conference

There are many women who think I am misogynistic, sexist, and completely out of line . . . but these are the women who know me, and the rest shouldn't care.  Naturally, my blog ( doesn't help my case either.

But what women don't understand is that I actually have a mother.  She loves me.  Sometimes she even likes me.  And that's why I had to write this poem about Susanna Wesley.  It's for all you clergy ladies out there who don't think a guy like me can be sensitive, caring, soft, empathetic, charming, wonderful, marvelous, and historically accurate.  (I hope I don't get sued!  But my wife already has access to my life insurance benefits should I meet with an untimely needlepoint or bludgeoning death.)

Susanna Wesley Goes to Annual Conference

Years ago when Methodists
Convened for work and prayer
Every man arrived on horse
And there were no women there.

But Wesley's mother, as his guide,
Said, "Hey, John, let us in!
Are you afraid of women, John?
Or just our estrogen?"

So Wesley prayed and read the Word
And came to the conclusion
That every man at conference
Should welcome their inclusion.

And that's when men at conference
Gave up their powdered wigs
And forfeited their dresses and
Their frilly frocks and digs.

And by and by at conferences
From New York to Cheyenne,
That's why you'll see more women now
Than you will powdered men.


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