New "Author" Photos

It was strongly suggested to me recently (from authorities greater than myself) that I have a new batch of author photos taken . . . post moustache.  Point taken.  And toward that end, I've been considering where these photos will be snapped and how much I will pay for them.  (Publishers want a "standard professional author photo" . . . whatever this means.)

I've been considering something along the line of an Austin Powers portfolio, especially since it's been eight months since I shaved my body for my birthday photos and I've now got more fur on my chest than Tom Selick or Mannix.  But I've never seen an author photo with the caption, "Yeah, Baby, Yeah!" or "Oh, behave!"

I've also been considering the formal pose . . . with sport jacket and tie, maybe even a dark suit and a power color . . . but I'm afraid I would look too much like a politician and then no one would believe a word I say or would simply laugh at me behind my back.  (Well . . . people do that now, but at least I know when my wife is laughing at me.  I can hear her under the bed covers.)

No, I think I'll opt for a business-casual approach.  Jeans, perhaps, with a classic white T-shirt and a blade of grass between my teeth.  I'll look like Jed Clampitt, but then, I'm from Indiana and I'm used to being called a hick.  I've put up a lot of hay bales in my time.  I might even spool a live snake around my neck for this photo, so readers will also see my warm, but courageous and macho side.

In the end, of course, great author photos don't mean diddly . . . unless there are books published.  I can take the photos all day.  But there never seem to be enough hours to write the books.

CLICK.  (Groovy, baby!)