A few weeks ago I was standing in a Barnes and Noble bookstore waiting for my wife's flight to arrive. At one point I happened to find myself scanning the titles on the Home Improvement shelf--those big books with full-color photos of luxurious houses and makeover ideas of the rich and famous. I had to take a peek. After all, I knew it was only a matter of time before my wife wanted to make over another room in the house (say, the kitchen, or heck, let's say the living room, too).
But all I found were ideas that were going to cost lots of money (even the ones that were titled "Low budget home improvement ideas" or "remodeling on a dime"). Why can't these authors just tell it like it is? "Hey, this makeover is going to cost you ten grand, and if you think I'm kidding, wait until you get the bill!"
But after our recent bathroom remodeling project, I've got a few books in the cooker myself. I need to make some money, so editors, be on the lookout for my proposals. Here are some that should sell.
How to Find Cheap Carpeting That Will Hide Dog Barf Spots
Kitchen Makeovers With a Leaky Sink
How to Redo a Bathroom When All of Your Money is Going to Your Daughter's College
Ten Ways to Trick Your Wife Into Thinking You've Painted a Room
Twenty Neat Crafts You Can Create With Cat Hairballs
A Hundred Ways to Save for New Appliances (Including Selling Walnuts From Your Front Yard)
How to Stuff a Squirrel or Beaver for the Fireplace Mantle
Ten Tools You Can Use in the Garage or Bedroom (and how to tell the difference . . . )
Bathroom Makeovers You Can Live Without
1 comment:
I feel your remodeling pain brother. Those home improvement magazines always show the most outrageous properties where floor space is plentiful - like we live in Wayne Newton's place or something!
The rest of us can only make do with the home size and location that we can afford.
Your other readers - rabble like us (less than trillionare) might be interested in how a regular guy, with a regular job, and a regular home in N California deals with kitchen and bathroom remodeling projects.
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