My Wife's Other Man

A few months ago, I pitched an idea for writing a magazine article about my wife. A few weeks later, the editor called me. "We love the idea of doing an article about your wife," he told me. "She's an amazing woman. But we've looked into your background, seen what you've written, and discovered that you're an incompetent. So we're sending another writer to do the article about your wife."

Of course, I was devastated. After all, how could another man possibly write about my wife? I mean, I know this woman. We talk two or three times a month, eat dinner together twelve to fourteen times a year, and have spawned two children in our twenty-three years together. I know her moods, her looks, and the taste of her meatloaf. And when she comes home from a hard day in the classroom, who's going to be there to rub her shoulders and tell her that the garbage can needs to be emptied? This other writer? Hardly!

Well, two can play this game. I'm going to see if I can pick up an assignment writing about some supermodel, or maybe a construction worker with large, rose-colored tattoos. And as for my wife's other man . . . I can't wait to see what he's written.