Last night I finished reading the 400 page tome, All the Money in the World--How the Forbes 400 Make, and Spend, Their Fortunes, by Peter Bernstein and Ann Swan. It's a book about billionaires, and I began to think: how long would it take me to become a billionaire?
So I emailed one of my old high school friends who is good in math (actually, he's a taxidermist who has an expensive pocket calculator with trigonometric functions) and asked him to calculate the year I'd become a billionaire, based on my current salary, savings, value of my 1991 Caprice wagon, and the extra money I hope to raise this fall by selling cracked walnuts from my front yard.
He came up with the year 2259. So there you have it. By 2259 I'll also join the Forbes 400 list. I am already making plans to spend my money. I'm going to eat pheasant under glass every day, and I'm going to buy some new socks, a paint-by-number set, a vacation home in Greece, and a large supply of scotch tape (I never seem to have any when I need it). I'll be the guy in Wal-Mart wearing the Armani suit, the $1000 silk tie, and the fashionable earrings.
I have no idea what my wife and kids will be doing.
2 comments:
Here's my list:
Start tipping baristas.
All sorts of batteries, because I always run out an inconvenient times. I would have a whole room full of batteries.
Build a room for batteries.
More lattes, less coffees.
Stop spending six hours at Barnes-and-Noble reading a book then putting it back on the shelf. I will buy the books.
I will never wear the same pair of socks more than once.
More stuff that is invisible and/or flies.
Yes, I would buy more lattes, too. Lots of them...gigantic ones with no lids and scalding hot.
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