Monday, October 1, 2007

Einstein's Brain

While reading a mammoth biography about Albert Einstein, I was often reminded of my grandmother, who was not particularly impressed by my intelligence. "You're no Einstein," she often told me. My mother often accussed me of having "half a brain." And my wife has been known to call me a "brainless twit."

Not being among the Einsteins of the world, I can say that reading about intelligent people makes me feel practically useless. I've missed out on so much--splitting the atom, gaining notoriety for some advanced theory, building a better rocket. Whatever this kind of ingenuity requires, I certainly don't have it. About the only thing I've invented in my life is a fried egg sandwich which my son makes every morning. He calls it, "The Big Daddy," in honor of his father. Thank you, son!

There are so many questions I'd like to ask uncle Albert E.: Why is my prostate getting smaller? Why can't I talk my way out of a speeding ticket? Why does my wife still love me? I have no answers to these and other universe-altering questions. But my egg sandwich breakthrough does give me a little comfort. E=mc2...that's egg, plus mayo between two slices of crunchy bread. Got it?

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