Friday, September 28, 2012

The 50,000

Photo:  Me, taking a phone call from a rabid fan who wanted an autograph or, perhaps, trying to calm my wife after she read my latest blog.

Last night I noted that this blog finally hit the 50,000 "hit" mark . . . meaning that it has been viewed, through the years, 50,000 times.  I'm grateful for those 100,000 eyeballs that have looked at it.  That means there have also been 50,000 noses pressed to the screen and an equal number of mouths and chins.  But that makes 100,000 armpits, too . . . which is remarkable, and 49,999 navels (I have a friend without a belly button who views this blog . . . he just sort of "popped out" of his mother's womb, much like an unfrosted Pop Tart or a potato being launched from a tube).

So . . . thanks for reading "Between Pages" . . . this little 5-year old blog detailing, in often-nauseating detail, tidbits of my reading and writing habits.  I'm grateful for every ONE of you (especially that lady in Germany who viewed one of my books here and purchased it off Amazon at full price).

Still, many of you do have questions about this blog, so let me try to answer the most common ones.

Q: When are you going to stop the nonsense and quit writing this blog?
A:  Well, my wife gave me permission to quit back in 2008--in fact, she insisted.  But I never listen to my wife.  Oh, I'll take her advice when it comes to love or making out or smooching or pitching woo twice a year . . . but listen, she doesn't know diddly about blog-writing. 

Q: You mention your wife a lot on this blog (often in a disparaging manner). Has she ever kicked your butt?
A: Kicked it last night.  And I loved it

Q: Really?!
A: (I never kick and tell.)

Q:  So . . . if I'm wanting to get information about books or learn more about writing, is this a good blog to visit?  Or do you just make stuff up?
A: This is difficult to explain unless you have a deep understanding of quantum physics . . . but here goes: First, I'm the real deal.  I do exist.  And it is obvious that I am writing this blog (or, sometimes, one of my clones).  I do read books and comment on them.  And I do write each day in an effort to expunge myself of various inner-demons, most of which make me puke a green sauce.  But here's where things get tricky, as I am often writing this blog in my sleep and sometimes hover between Plato's ideal plane and my world, which is littered with dirty dishes.  So, when you are visiting this blog you may get the sense that, while I am indeed writing it, you may not be reading it.  In short, this blog exists somewhere between these two worlds. And chances are, if you are reading this blog on a regular basis, you are sicker than I am.       

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