Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Auction: Lot # 6


Lot # 6 Description: Big Ol' Box of Floppies. There are blanks in this lot as well as untold essays, stories, stalled novels, journal entries, observations and material that the author has forgotten about.

History: This author still saves most of his material on standard floppy disks. He has hundreds of 'em. He's got piles of 'em. Boxes of 'em. This is only one of many. Many people have pressed the author, over the past decade, to get with the times and get off the floppies, but he likes floppies, and he still wears boxer shorts, too. He just won't change. He continues to write massive piles of material on his sixteen-year-old Compaq (who the heck owns a Compaq now?). Everything goes to floppy. He labels 'em. Stacks 'em. Forgets about 'em.

Background: This author is cheap. Do you know you can buy a box of floppy disks from eBay for something like, oh, 1000 floppies for $5 with shipping? Sure, the author could purchase a 4 gig zip drive for $20, but that would require conversation with his local Radio Shack rep, and the author just can't stomach the thought of revealing his idiocy to a fifteen year old named "Frankie." He continues to write on his sixteen-year-old Compaq and considers it a badge of honor. He wants to see how many books he can write on one computer. So far he's written eighteen on the old Compaq (and it often ignites) and he's also written at least thirty unpublished collections on this same sucky machine. Evidence is stored on the hundreds of floppies stored throughout his house. Wanna own one?

Quote from Author's Wife: "You imbecile! You'll sell your floppies and give away a million-dollar-book. Do you even know what you have stored on all of those things?"

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