Whenever an editor says I've been "picked-up", it has to be a good thing, right?
Of course, I've been part of the pick-up scene for decades, man. I was groovin' with pick-up lines long before Hollywood made them a staple in romantic comedies. I picked-up my wife this way and, later, when I tried to pick her up and carry her over the threshold, I banged her head on the door jam. That's why I started lifting weights, so I could carry her heft.
Of course, my pick-up lines worked much better in the 1970s when everyone was groovin' with ZZ-Top and Boston and the Eagles. So keep in mind, I'm not sure how these will sound to modern ears. But listen, dog, these worked way back when:
Pick-up Line # 1: Which one of you pretty ladies has my Buick Regal double-parked outside? I need to get home to give my mother her milk of magnesia!
Pick-up Line # 2: Your name wouldn't happen to be Becky, would it? I know a girl with the same name. What'r the odds a that?
Pick-up Line # 3: Could I buy one of you finely-educated ladies a diet drink? Not that you need to diet, mind you, but I noticed your human anatomy textbooks, and that just happens to be my best subject . . . that, and Greek literature. Kind of a toss-up. But I'll let you decide. What do you think of me so far?
Pick-up Line # 4: Whaazzup! (I was saying this long before Snoop Dog and don't let him kid you.)
Pick-up Line # 5: I'm on my way to church and just wondered if you'd like for me to pray for you? I happen to be on a first-name basis with God and something tells me you've never had a kiss from a real man. Or are you a cross-dresser?
As you can see, I was a real charmer, a true Casanova. And those of you who know me can see what I ended up with. Obviously, my wife has great taste. She picked me up!
Still, I was glad to hear about the poem. I can't wait to see how that one turns out now that some editor has responded to my "pick-up" lines.
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