Thursday, May 22, 2008

Writing Graduation

This past week Becky and I have both become miserably ill. She has been to the doctor twice to procur medications strong enough to stun a cow, and this morning I woke up to a throat so sore that I can scarcely talk. Our daughter graduates from high school this Friday.

Is there a connection? Probably.

A few days ago, at the greeting card aisle, I realized that Hallmark needed a section for sick parents (old folks whose bodies fall apart when they have to plan enormous parties for graduating seniors). So, I thought I'd give Hallmark a leg up and offer this option for consideration a new "Heartsick" line of greeting cards.

Me, all dried up like a popped cork . . .
You, lying in bed with your mouth propped open,
wheezing like a broken ceiling fan . . .
A couple of parents waiting for their little girl
to graduate.

Since no one else will send their love . . .
I'm sending you mine, dear,
Along with this generous sampling of antiobiotics.
Here, take the water of my broken heart.
Take two and call me in the morning.
We've got to get dressed and fix a pot of meatballs.
Is that the doorbell I hear . . .
Or just you, groaning?

(c) Heartsick is a Trademark of Todd Outcalt enterprises and may not be used in conjunction with any other illnesses, spouses, or graduates. For a full transcript of his other Heartsick line of greeting cards, drop him a blog or two ibuprophen.

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