My New Column

I've never thought of myself as a columnist . . . but recently editors have been biting on my offers to write regularly for their magazines.  One editor, in particular, has noted my "prolific abilities" and has suggested a separate page for my satirical poems.  We are still working on a name and a first-date.

Writing a regular column is an awesome responsibility . . . especially a bi-weekly commitment like this new one.  I've got to produce.  And in the course of a year, I've got to write 100+ satirical pieces (mostly poems) that must continue to draw readers back.  A columnist cannot afford a runt in the litter, but must be able to give birth to a bouncing baby every few days . . . and the baby has to be healthy and pink and crying out loud.

I believe I can do it . . . otherwise I would not have said "yes".  I will, however, have to keep a closer eye on the news and I'll have to be at the ready to take notes and scribble whole poems as they come to me, even if I'm asleep or I'm five hundred miles from home or if I've got measles.  A columnist must write.

Here's the way I see it:  a column is like another blog or an essay.  I write these every day.  So I should be able to write a column every few days.

I've been a regular contributor before.  First, years back, at The Wittenburg Door (the world's pretty-much-only religious satire magazine . . . a magazine I miss horribly since it ceased publication!), I wrote beside Mike Yaconelli and Skippy R. and Joe Bob Briggs.  And during the 90's, I wrote a column for For the Bride magazine entitled "Malebag".  I write a column for Together magazine, and I also write regularly for mags like YouthWorker, Preaching, and Rev!.  In short, I guess I'm more "prolific" than talented . . . and as one editor noted years back, I can be "counted on to produce."  I ain't any good . . . but I'm dependable.

So . . . I produce.  I meet deadlines.  I stay the course.  I don't look back.  But I'll be danged if I can be pigeonholed. 

Once my editor friend and I decide on a name I'll get back to you.  You can read it here first. 

Satirical poems?  I can't wait to dig in and poke fun at someone.  And I'll probably make myself my first order of business.