Take One . . . It's Free

Last night, while eating out at P.F. Changs, my wife reminded me (as she always does!) of how large a failure I am as a writer, and how little I have to show for 35+ years of slaving over words and sentences and getting paid for my efforts. She even reminded me that I have given all of my paltry royalty earnings to those in need, and that when I have books on hand, I give them away liberally (even though I had to purchase them myself and have gone into debt doing so).

Well, I couldn't argue her points . . . not while eating Moo Goo Gui Pan, anyway. But I did have to remind her about some interesting "gifts" that I have received from people when I have given away my books.

One of the most heart-warming took place at a Chinese restaurant in Southport about ten years ago. I had just learned that my book, Candles in the Dark, was going to be translated and published in Chinese, and so I went online and somehow managed to purchase five or six copies of the Chinese edition. I sent some to Chinese friends at various universities (again, with my compliments) and one or two to Chinese churches in Indianapolis. And when we went out to eat one night, I brought along another copy for the owner of the Chinese restaurant. Our exchange went something like this:

Me: I wanted to give you a gift. I am a writer, and this is one my books. It was recently translated into Chinese and I wanted you to have a copy. I hope you will enjoy it.

Owner: What? You wrote this? You write Chinese?

Me: No! I didn't write it in Chinese. I wrote it in English, but this is the Chinese translation. I want you to have a copy.

Owner: Me? You wrote this for me?

Me: Well . . . for you to read. Enjoy it.

Owner: (Large tears forming in his eyes, cupping my little, insignificant Brokeback Mountain book to his chest.) Thank you! Thank you! I bring dinner! Yes, I bring dinner!

Minutes later, and quite unexpectedly, the owner shows up at our table porting the largest plate of orange chicken I have ever seen. "On the house," he tells us.

And so . . . last night I reminded my wife when I received the P.F. Change bill for $50: "You see, it pays to give books away and to go into debt! Just look at this bill!"